Schmoes Know… Funny movie reviews from people like you!
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OUR TOTAL RECALL REVIEW
INTRO
Mark: Yes, it’s Total Recall; no, not the one with Arnold but that ain’t gonna stop him…have at it.
Kristian: Get your ass to Mars…See ya at the party Richter…Consider this a divorce…Hey Benny, screw you!!!
M: Hate the impression, love the one-liners
VIDEO CLIPS
K: It is back, the story by Phillip K. Dick, Total Recall…it didn’t actually take place on Mars, took place on Earth, so guess what? This one takes place on Earth.
M: And no Arnold in this version; instead we get Colin Farrell. It’s called Total Recall, but that’s a misnomer for me because I never saw the original. I walked into this movie completely fresh, and walked out loving this film.
K: I think that if you have never heard of this, never read the story or seen the 1990 movie, you’re gonna love this version.
M: If I haven’t seen it, it’s new to me!
K: But people like me who already knew the points, the beats it would hit…
M: You knew everything that was coming?
K: More or less.
M: Because there’s a lot of twists, turns, you’re on edge wondering if this is real, is he dreaming, are we trapped in his mind?
K: There’s some homages to the original, you wonder if certain characters are gonna show up…yes, she’s in there. I’ll just say this: 2 weeks! 2 weeks!
M: There’s clearly nods to the previous version but it doesn’t hit you over the head with them; thus this one feels like it’s own movie.
K: If you did see the previous one you’ll know where it’s going, but they did change some things that will keep you interested; for example Kate Beckinsale plays the role Sharon Stone had, but it’s been expanded; she’s now this tough badass as well as the wife.
M: She’s married to the director Len Wiseman, and man she is not tough to look at. She’s also great in this role, she pulls off this tough British chick that we all know she can be.
K: Sometimes I think she’s just ok, but she is very good in here; the acting in this film I thought was occasionally spotty but it never took me out of the film…Jessica Biel is another one who’s fun to watch. She’s much hotter than the Melinda in the original version, though I think the other one was the better actress.
M: Arnold Schwarzennegger ain’t the best thespian in the world either, but he had such a great presence on screen…Colin Farrell wisely doesn’t try to match that, instead he puts a new spin on the lead character and I thought he was fantastic.
K: I wouldn’t go so far as to say fantastic…but he was good. Because of your point, he didn’t try to be Arnold. He was his own Douglas Quaid. Quaaaiiiddd! Quaidddd!
M: You gotta let him do this.
K: That wasn’t my Arnold.
M: They all sound the same.
K: Quaid!
M: You done?
M: Colin Farrell is a worker drone in this film and he keeps having these dreams of another life, so he tries this Rekall thing that can give you these great artificial memories. It doesn’t work however, because he has a secret life that mucks everything up.
K: The previous version felt more like The Matrix which I liked, but I tell you what…that action scene in this one where he discovers that he has a hidden identity and beats the crap of the cops? Pretty cool. Lots of great action scenes in this movie, so a tip of the non-hat to Mr. Wiseman.
M: Tip of the non-hat?
K: Tip of the non-hat.
K: For all you Breaking Bad fans, Bryan Cranston is in this, he plays Copenhagen in the role originally done by the great Ronny Cox.
M: Of Beverly Hills Cop fame…Cranston is always great, he doesn’t have as much to do in this as maybe I had hoped, but he has a couple intense scenes.
VIDEO CLIPS
K: Overall you can have a lot of fun with this movie, the special effects are amazing.
M: Think it’s safe to say that they’re better than the 1990 version?
K: Well yeah…
M: I loved seeing the wide shots, this vision of the future and checking out what happens to humanity and how we’re able to cope.
K: It looked great, you’re invested, I still would have rather had the Mars plot where we need to get fresh air because that was more of a stake; but this one there’s still intensity.
M: Earth could get destroyed! That’s not enough of a stake??
K: It is, I just think getting air on Mars was a little more exciting and real to me.
M: It is Schmoe time, and I’d like to quote that talking head in the 1990 version.
K: Get ready for a surprise…
M: 4.25 Schmoes for Total Recall…totally blew me away thought it was amzing, loved it.
K: Wow, that’s fair but I think if you had seen the original you’d be giving it my rating…it’s very enjoyable and the best Len Wiseman movie so far; 3.5/5 Schmoes. Colin Farrell did his job well, everyone did their part, well done kids.
K: How about you Schmoeville? Are you gonna see this or go back to The Dark Knight Rises? Do you think this needed a remake? Comment and let us know.
M: Would you ever try that Rekall memory-altering stuff? You know what, don’t. Don’t try any of that crap, don’t go to the desert and take pills to see stuff, just enjoy your life. Right? Good message to the kids.
OUTTRO
Total Recall Review,
