Daylight Savings Time ended this weekend. Sadly, the hour we all gained was offset by the hour and a half we wasted watching Due Date.
RED MAN WALKING
Good news for Team Coco! NBC pariah Conan O’Brien made his much ballyhooed return to Late Night television this week on TBS.
Of course to make room for Conan, TBS pulled an “Arizona” and deported previous time-slot holder George Lopez to a crappy new home.
Meanwhile, Bill Carter, author of the original The Late Shift book has released a new work outlining the recent variety show shake up: The War for Late Night.
According to the book, David Letterman’s staff thinks he needs mental help, while Jay Leno’s staff thinks he needs writers.
And it turns out early in his career Conan was so anguished over his ratings troubles he would hide under his desk, which is the same thing Letterman does, but with young co-ed interns.
And if you haven’t seen this Conan ad, you’re missing out:
The James Franco vehicle, 127 Hours, chronicles the real-life survival story of Aron Ralston, who had to amputate his own arm to escape certain doom.
The bio-pic is having an odd effect on audiences: many movie goers are vomiting and passing out. It’s the same reaction I had to Twilight.
The film is said to be quite graphic and conveys the dread of Ralston’s 127 hour ordeal. In fact, to get an idea of how long that is, imagine seeing the 93 minute movie 81.94 times.
In one shockingly ironic instance, a passed-out moviegoer found themselves stuck to the gooey theatre floor and to escape, had to chop off their own arm.
In lighter (and possibly gayer) news, as mentioned in the 10/19 edition of the Beatrice News Scoop, the Justin Bieber Dolly is finally available in Toys R Us just in time for the holidays. The Bieber dolls start at $14.99. No word on how much it costs to not buy them.
According to family members, Lindsay Lohan has checked back into rehab and is, quote, “happy and relaxed.” Of course she’s happy and relaxed; the place she checked into is Vegas’ Club Rehab.
Also, Father of the Year Michael Lohan is proud to report that he and his daughter are patching up their relationship, specifying they recently spent all day together. All day?? That ought to fix everything.
MILANO DRINKFIELD WAR
In other “celebrity” (wink, wink) news, Alyssa Milano tweeted recently that she was carded at a restaurant while ordering Sake. And minutes later, Danny Pintauro bussed her table.
In casting news, True Blood’s resident werewolf Joe Manganiello is reportedly up for the titular role in the next Superman.
In this version, the Man of Steel is now vulnerable to kryptonite and silver bullets.
(NOTE: Can we all agree that not only was there never a Superman III, but that Richard Pryor was never in it?)
In pseudo-science news, a report says one in four men travel with a stuffed animal for reassurance. That number expands to four in four if we expand the definition of stuffed animal to include blow up dolls.
ISRAEL AND/OR BUST
And finally, speaking of blow up dolls, Pam Anderson is on tour in Israel promoting anti-fur legislation. Yeah, cause that’s Israel’s biggest issue right now.
To be fair, Pam is the perfect spokesperson for fake fur. She promotes fake everything else!
-MBThe Tuesday Beatrice News Scoop (11-9-10),