This week, we have the Justin Bieber trifecta. Three – count them: THREE! – stories revolving around the teen heartthrob.
After hearing so many comparisons between his own hair and that of Patriots Quarterback Tom Brady, Bieber “rapped” in a song, “Call up Mr. Brady. Tell ‘em leave his hair to the guy who sings ‘Baby.’”
Brady would respond, but NFL rules prevent him from communicating with underage girls.
Elsewhere, Bieber has likened himself to this generation’s Kurt Cobain. Which hopefully means we’re just a few months away from Bieber shooting himself in the head with a shotgun.
And finally, lil Justin is being investigated for assault charges, stemming from an alleged altercation at a Canadian laser tag facility.
(NOTE: Laser tag, Canada? Really?)
The alleged victim in the incident is pressing charges, which may not be the best idea. Even if you’re legally in the right, do you ever want to admit you got cold cocked by Justin Bieber? Getting socked by Dakota Fanning would earn you more street cred.
A VIEW TO A SHRILL
The ladies of The View went to Defcon 1 during an interview with Fox News Channel’s Bill O’Reilly. Discussing his views on the mosque to be built near Ground Zero, View co-hosts Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg walked off the set, making O’Reilly the only person in history capable of shutting these two up.
Whoopi should know better; how did she like it when people walked out of Sister Act 2?
GRAPES OF MATH
A new article in Psychology Today hypothesizes that highly intelligent people drink more alcohol than less intelligent people. Cleary the editors of Psychology Today have never been to a Raiders game.
In sports news, still reeling from allegations of inappropriate sexual conduct, karma seems to have bit Brett Favre in the ass. Or, in this case, kicked him in the nuts.
Who knew Favre’s wife Deanna had that good a leg?
Allegedly, Favre texted a photo of his private parts to a female reporter when he played for the New York Jets, and the future Hall of Fame quarterback may have also harassed two female Jets massage therapists. Dear Deanna: Betrayed by Brett Favre? Welcome to Green Bay. Population: you!
In a related story, coming off a weekend of hard hitting football, Kurt Warner told Fox Sports’ Dan Patrick that preventing concussions in the NFL may be futile.
Said Warner, “players are so big and so strong and so fast that there’s nowhere to hide anymore,” adding, “as you get older in the NFL…you think about, hey, I got seven kids.” Then again, most men with seven kids want a concussion.
Elsewhere in sports, Michael Jordan told USA Today that he thinks he could score 100 points in today’s league. 100? Yeah, in the WNBA maybe.
Finally, Paramount Pictures is going viral promoting Paranormal Activity 2 with online clips and advance screenings this week in select cities. The first Paranormal Activity was really scary; in fact I’m still haunted by the ghostly apparition of the $12.50 I wasted on that piece of garbage.
-MBThe Tuesday Beatrice News Scoop (10-19-10),