By Mike Beatrice
What do Game of Thrones and the U.S. Presidential race have in common? Both involve ruthless campaigns to rule, smeared by lies about who was born where.
Ousted Secret Service agents have been offered new jobs finding high quality escorts for AdultSearch.com. Should be easy enough; it’s the same job they did for President Clinton.
Kim Kardashian has announced plans to run for mayor of Glendale, California. At least we know she favors term limits.
A company is installing 24-hour Marijuana Vending Machines in Los Angeles. The pot will be available for a nominal fee, but Doritos now cost $100.00.
Fenway Park turned 100 years old last week. And Carmen Electra turned 40. Hard to say who has had more work done.
Lindsay Lohan has been inked to play Elizabeth Taylor in a new Lifetime movie. Makes sense; as a young woman Liz Taylor stole America’s heart while a young Lindsay Lohan stole America’s jewelry.
An errant email convinced hundreds of workers at a financial firm they were all about to be fired. Apparently, the email was signed “Mitt Romney.”
In a related story, Romney has appointed a gay Republican spokesperson to his staff. Mitt hasn’t totally come around on gay rights; the spokesperson has to ride on the roof with the dog.
The New York Yankees have unveiled a new line of colognes and perfumes. In a related story, Derek Jeter has unveiled a new line of morning after pills.The Thursday Beatrice News Scoop (4-25-12),