Schmoes Know… Funny movie reviews from people like you!
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Our Review of The Paperboy:
Mark: I just watched Nicole Kidman pee on Zac Efron. You didn’t really think we’d let you get away with High School Musical 3 did you?
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M: Kristian is running moonshine with his man crush Tom Hardy, and I so went stag to see Lee Miller direct an all-star cast in The Paperboy.
M: Paperboy has exactly one 6 second shot of Zac Efron delivering a paper…the rest of the film is busy showing swamps, scandals, sweat and a whole lot of Nicole Kidman.
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M:We are set in muggy hot Florida in the mid 1960’s, where the only thing hotter than the temperature was tension during the civil rights movement. You heard me right: south, super hot, no air conditioning…did you really think Matthew McConaughey wasn’t going to show up. He lives for this stuff.
M: He plays a reporter that comes home and teams up with his youunger brother as they believe a man on death row was wrongly accused of murdering a sheriff. But wait, there’s more!
M: Nicole Kidman plays a floosy who is always attracted with the wrong kind of dude (what? A hot chick is attracted to assholes? That never happens). She tags along with the reporting team to help free this prisoner played by a super slimy John Cusack.
M: Efron falls for Kidman, McConaughey had his own secrets and tensions mount as the team…and the movie…threaten to burst at the seams. You know when a get a burrito at Qdoba or Chiptole and they put too much deliciousness in there and you try to eat it and it just falls into a mess? Kinda like this movie. It’s a burrito that should’ve been double wrapped.
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M: Good acting on display though, Kidman plays against type, going back to her To Die For days, and it’s great to see. Very sexy, funny, has a dark side…not an award caliber performance but she does know how to cure a jellyfish sting. She pees on Efron. It happens. He’s fine, not his breakout role but much more believeable than when he was a Marine in that Nicholas Sparks disaster. The Lucky One. I’d rather get peed on than watch that movie again.
M: McConaughey is always good in a role like this, he can play it in his sleep…he does keep his shirt on in this movie. I’m totally kidding, could you imagine? Not much actual nudity, but clothes are few and far between. If pants were an actor, they wouldn’t get a SAG card.
M: Best performance in the movie? Macy Gray. She’s great as the maid who works for Matt and Zac’s dad…she narrates the film and serves as the moral center. No idea she was that powerful of an actress.
M: Lee Daniels directs a compeeling film, but the story does get bloated and sidetracked. Not a lot of good decision making in this film…gets a little frustrating when you have to watch a bunch of people you’re rooting for continue to screw up. I know, I’m a Redskins fan.
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M: Lots of potential here, plenty of goodness but it eventually falls in upon itself and as an overall film, I can’t quite get it to 3. 2.9/5 Schmoes for the The Paperboy.
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