Schmoes Know… Funny movie reviews from people like you!
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By Mike Beatrice
Lindsay Lohan wrecked her Porsche on the Pacific Coast Highway last weekend. Oh my god; I hope the Porsche is okay!
“STAR STRUCK”
A rep for Lohan says the actress was driving with a, quote, “unidentified male.” Which is just Lindsay’s pet name for Samantha Ronson.
“DRAG RACER”
Matthew McConaughey has wed longtime girlfriend Camila Alves. For their special day, Alves wore Stuart Weitzman heels with an elegant wedding gown fashioned by her favorite Brazilian designer. And McConaughey wore a shirt.
The Dish Network is planning to drop the WE TV Channel. Now how are we supposed to not watch Kendra on Top?
“TOPLESS”
With the success of Ridley Scott’s new film Prometheus, it’s only a matter of time before James Cameron releases Prometheuses.
“ALIEN CONCEPT”
The Pentagon has confirmed that an unmanned drone has killed Al Qaeda’s Number 2 leader. Which seems like a big deal until you remember our number 2 leader is Joe Biden.
“VEEP”
Michael Jackson’s daughter Paris Jackson has become quite the beautiful young lady; she has her mother’s eyes and her father’s nose. No really, she has his nose. In her purse.
“DADDY’S GIRL”
Congratulations to the Los Angeles Kings, 2012 NHL Champions. Unfortunately for the Kings, this year the Stanley Cup was only the third biggest cup at the Finals.
“BOOBY PRIZE”
The breasts in question belong to hockey fan and porn star Taylor Stevens. Insert “penalty box” joke here.
The 2012 Tony Awards aired on TV Sunday night and the big winners were anyone who didn’t watch the 2012 Tony Awards on TV Sunday night.
I don’t want to say the Tony Awards are gay, but I will say: “Doogie Howser.”
“FABULOUS!”
AND FINALLY…
From the makers of Sharktopus comes the new SyFy channel film Piranhaconda! Look for the SyFy channel’s hybrid trilogy to wrap up next year with the highly anticipated Hippopotamoose.
“HUNGRY HUNGRY”
