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K: Here’s a little improv for ya, in honor of Sacha Baron Cohen…which one of us saw the movie? You guys guess, it’s interview time in Schmoeville.
K: Hey everyone, welcome to Schmoeville…
Mark: Why do you get to do the intro when I’m the only one that saw the movie? This will be a really cool interview back and forth.
K: Yeah…I wanted to see this movie, I missed the screening, and instead of pushing it even farther back, we’ll let this guys talk about it and I’ll ask some questions.
M: The Dictator starring Sacha Baron Cohen and a host of other people, other celebrities are in this, like Ben Kingsley, Anna Faris who I love…some other cameos, John C. Reilly is in it for a minute, some other surprises that I won’t spoil. You know the story, it’s a dictator who is the head of the North African country Wadiya, who goes to America and gets stuck…then he must reclaim his glory and maybe find his heart along the way.
K: Alright, big question for a lot of people is, you had Borat, then Bruno, and a lot of it was improv, mess with people kinda stuff…this one seems scripted, how did that work?
M: It is scripted, it’s not like Punk’d anymore, and I think that’s the only way you can go with this now, because everyone knows what the guy looks like, especially with a costume like this, so scripted is the way to go…the problem with this movie is that some of the jokes that are scripted just kinda fall flat.
K: Oh, really? Is it super-controversial just to be controversial, or what’s the deal?
M: It is, however, the controversial stuff is some of the funniest stuff in the movie…
K: Who’s good and who stinks?
M: Sacha Baron Cohen is phenomenal, he’s great, and I think this is the right time to have a movie like this, in politics and everything, because it’s about this crazy dictator, who says he’s buddies with Kim Jong Il, that kinda stuff, and it made me laugh. Made me laugh a lot.
K: Who else is good? How’s Anna Faris?
M: Anna Faris’ character, she plays this kinda annoying character…
K: She’s gone downhill recently.
M: I think she’s great in everything she does, really funny chick…she has this thing in this where she has armpit hair, and green peace…she’s a hippie. Fresh out of Woodstock, she’s a hippie. They have a spark, and it kinda goes from there.
K: So who stinks?
M: Who stinks?
K: Yeah…and be honest. You’re always nice.
M: Really? Always nice? Just wait until our Piranha 3DD review. No one’s really stinky in this movie.
K: Alright, well I didn’t see it, so I can’t comment.
M: No one’s stinky, what’s stinky is some of the jokes, they just fall flat and you’re like ‘really? That’s all you got for that?’ There’s an awkward scene where he’s delivering a baby and it just doesn’t hit.
K: How was the pacing? Sometimes, there’s a heart, it keeps moving…how was the tone of it all?
M: That’s the biggest problem with the movie…is that it has all these crazy dictator jokes, which are funny, but when it tries to be a movie? That’s when it fails miserably, because you don’t buy any of this, you don’t buy his relationship with Anna Faris, you don’t buy that he’s becoming a good person…but you’re willing to go with it because some of the jokes are making you laugh really, really hard.
K: So to the good people out there in Schmoeville watching, this weekend, they have 3 choices: Battleship, The Dictator, or What to Expect When You’re Expecting…which should they see?
M: Umm…The Avengers?
K: Sounds like you were really disappointed.
M: I was, and I’ll tell you why…because this had a really high ceiling…you could’ve been in this theater and had belly laughs for 90 minutes, and it never got there, and I wanted it to, so Schmoeing this movie, I’m gonna give it 2.9 out of 5 Schmoes, I wanted to get it to three, but I just can’t…sorry.
K: Yet again my point about you being too nice…you say a couple nice things about the movie yet you give it a 2.9. Come on.
M: Because the movie wasn’t that good…you asked me about the performances, and they were good, it just the movie doesn’t work that well. You attacked me! I’m under attack! This show should be a dictatorship…off with his head!
K: All I can say, because I didn’t see it, is…did you see it? Let us know, do you wanna see it? Are you gonna take his advice and watch The Avengers? We wanna know, comment and if you’re new to Schmoeville, click that button up there, and you’ll never miss another review ever again…and good news, Mark and I have thanked you guys, we’ll continue to thank you guys, because our podcast on the Toad Hop network, we’re liked the 12th ranked show, so if you guys haven’t seen it yet, click the link in the description and check it out…we wanna get to number one. We gotta at least beat Nik Richie.
M: Who’s that?
K: He’s that dude…if you know who he is, then we should be beating him.
M: Ok, alright…a challenge has been issued.
K: How was the whole beard angle? When he got it taken off did he lose all his powers? How did that play?
M: It’s a funny gag, there’s nothing really to it…that’s the thing with this movie, is that there’s a lot of funny gags that are isolated, so they don’t help further the plot…that’s the problem is that the plot just wasn’t that good.
K: So the plot just wasn’t that good? 2.9.
M: That’s not a good movie. It was almost good, thus the 2.9.
K: Save it for the courts.
OUTTROThe Dictator Review,