By Mike Beatrice
Congratulations to the Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots! Sincerely, the Starving Children of Nicaragua.
Super Bowl Sunday is reportedly the day with the highest incidence of domestic violence. For example, Tom Brady just got the sh*t kicked out of him in Peyton Manning’s house.
Brady may not have won the game, but still gets to go home with a trophy.
The Lombardi Trophy was passed around, fondled and kissed so much on Sunday, it’s been asked to perform next year’s Half Time show.
During her Super Bowl performance, one of Madonna’s co-performers extended her middle finger. NBC immediately apologized for the Half Time Show, then apologized for
Who does MIA think she is? Stephen A. Smith?
As for Kelly Clarkson, whoever had the prop bet of +175 lbs won.
The Giants Super Bowl victory celebration turned awkward when Tom Coughlin screamed at everyone to get off his lawn.
In celebrity news, Lindsay Lohan suddenly moved out of her Venice Beach home after an alleged break-in by an intruder. Here’s hoping the intruder was sobriety.
Lohan only packed one suitcase but needed an 18-wheeler for all her emotional baggage.
Jonah Hill has revealed to Star Magazine his weight loss secret: doing whip-its with Demi Moore.
A new report says STD rates for senior citizens have reached an all time high. But that’s only because the government keeps f*cking them.
Kim Kardashian tells reporters she carries both a BlackBerry and an iPhone. Apparently, she proposes with one and divorces with the other.
Joyce DeWitt and Suzanne Somers have ended a three decade feud. Turns out it was all just some zany misunderstanding.The Beatrice News Scoop (2-7-12),