Schmoes Know… Funny movie reviews from people like you!
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By Mike Beatrice
Congratulations to the Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots! Sincerely, the Starving Children of Nicaragua.
“BIZARRO WORLD”
Super Bowl Sunday is reportedly the day with the highest incidence of domestic violence. For example, Tom Brady just got the sh*t kicked out of him in Peyton Manning’s house.
“NO EXCUSE”
Brady may not have won the game, but still gets to go home with a trophy.
“BOOBY PRIZE”
The Lombardi Trophy was passed around, fondled and kissed so much on Sunday, it’s been asked to perform next year’s Half Time show.
“LIKE A VIRGIN”
During her Super Bowl performance, one of Madonna’s co-performers extended her middle finger. NBC immediately apologized for the Half Time Show, then apologized for
-
ALL
their shows.
“FINGER FUCKED”
Who does MIA think she is? Stephen A. Smith?
“BIRD MAN”
As for Kelly Clarkson, whoever had the prop bet of +175 lbs won.
“LINEBACKER”
The Giants Super Bowl victory celebration turned awkward when Tom Coughlin screamed at everyone to get off his lawn.
“OLD SCHOOL”
In celebrity news, Lindsay Lohan suddenly moved out of her Venice Beach home after an alleged break-in by an intruder. Here’s hoping the intruder was sobriety.
“THE ALCOHOLIST”
Lohan only packed one suitcase but needed an 18-wheeler for all her emotional baggage.
“BAG LADY”
Jonah Hill has revealed to Star Magazine his weight loss secret: doing whip-its with Demi Moore.
“DEMI HILL”
A new report says STD rates for senior citizens have reached an all time high. But that’s only because the government keeps f*cking them.
“ICK”
Kim Kardashian tells reporters she carries both a BlackBerry and an iPhone. Apparently, she proposes with one and divorces with the other.
“PHONY”
AND FINALLY…
Joyce DeWitt and Suzanne Somers have ended a three decade feud. Turns out it was all just some zany misunderstanding.
“TWO’S A CROWD”
