Schmoes Know… Funny movie reviews from people like you!
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That final school bell rings, the ice cream man stocks up, and the pool is open for business…on a par with those summer-welcoming traditions is what happens at movie theaters every year around this time: huge blockbuster films. Over the last decade, no group of movies have been more worthy of the label “summer blockbuster” than those based on Marvel comics. And after seeing some of the greatest heroes on Earth find success with their own stories, the Schmoes Know guys finally get to witness the most epic collaboration the comic book world has ever seen on the big screen: The Avengers!
As far back as the first “Iron Man” film, Mark and Kristian have been sitting in the front row waiting for the greatest Marvel Comics characters to join forces in order to defend the Earth…along with the billionaire playboy/Black Sabbath fan Tony Stark is Captain America, Thor, the Incredible Hulk, Black Widow, and Hawkeye. Collectively known as the Avengers and managed by S.H.I.E.L.D. agent Nick Fury, comic book fans have followed this all-star team through decades of intergalactic excitement…and now director Joss Whedon has brought that ambitious concept to the big screen for the very first time.
Getting six superheroes to sacrifice their own egos for the benefit of the team is tough; equally difficult is juggling the schedules of so many Hollywood stars in a effort to build one giant 2 1/2 hour movie…besides Downey, A-listers such as Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo, Scarlett Johanssen, Jeremy Renner, Chris Evans, and Samuel L. Jackson star in “The Avengers”. When petulant god Loki leads an army against Earth, it will take some of the best heroes on this (or any other) planet to defend her…dealing with slightly less pressure are the Schmoes, who live for discussing movies like this: fast-paced summer action extravaganzas are a particular favorite of Kristian and Mark, and if they don’t love this movie? You can be damn sure their review will avenge it. Check it out!
FULL TRANSCRIPT:
MARK: “What’s gonna happen with these independent personalities come together to fight for a common goal?”
KRISTIAN: “Aren’t you being a little melodramatic? It’s a review.”
MARK: “I was talking about the Avengers.”
KRISTIAN: “Ohhh…”
INTRO
VIDEO CLIPS
KRISTIAN: “Alot of people have gotten to see this movie, and everyone’s talking about it saying how great it is ans everything, and I gotta tell ya: they’re right!”
MARK: “It is in the ether, it’s finally here ladies and gentlemen, Superhero-gasm 2012…let’s countdown the roster for everyone: you got Iron Man, you got Thor, you got Captain America, you got the Incredible Hulk, Black Widow and Hawkeye…you got this guy and this guy, we just saw the Avengers and it is a neat movie.”
VIDEO CLIPS
K: “Here’s something that pissed me off…coming out of the theater there was this guy going ‘well, there wasn’t really enough story and I couldn’t…’ shut-up! That’s not what this movie is about, if you want all the story and the back story that’s why you have the other movies, that’s why you have the Incredible Hulk version and Captain America and Iron Man 1 and 2.”
M: “They also have those things called comic books that you can thumb through, but I didn’t think there was a lack of story in this one, I thought it was kinda cool to see all these heroes come together to fight for justice…there was alot of stuff…I would recommend doing some research, especially Thor and Iron Man are the two ones that you really need to see before you see The Avengers.”
K: “Sure…as far as story? Here’s the story, here’s what you need to know: Loki is pissed off. Why? Because he’s Roger Clinton, or Frank Stallone except he doesn’t sing in a band. And what does he do? He wants to take over the Earth, so he gets his bad guys, he wants to take over, and who’s gonna stop him? The Avengers. There’s your story.”
M: “Cut, print, ship.”
K: “So that’s it, basically you have all these guys together and it is a comic book explosion; it’s everything you want, anything you ever thought of; they’re fighting against aliens, they’re fighting against Loki, they’re fighting against each other, they’re fighting against everyone.”
M: “Yeah, they’re taking orders from Sam Jackson…this is one of those ones where going into it, you’re hoping it was gonna be a really cool, everyone gets together, fighting for a common goal…not just the superheroes but you were hoping all the chemistry between the actors worked well, and I gotta tell ya: this exceeded every expectation I had for this movie.”
K: “100%…it’s the definition; if you go to Wikipedia and type in ‘summer blockbuster’, this is the movie that should come up. Because honestly it is everything that you need in a summer movie. It kicks it off perfect and you feel like a little kid; you shouldn’t be going in there like ‘eh, this isn’t gonna win the Oscar’. Shut up, the Hulk should smash you.
VIDEO CLIP
M: “There’s so many good elements in this story, every superhero came to play. Everyone of these guys, it’s six of them in total, they all brought their A-game.”
K: “And let’s talk about the wild cards, because everyone of the trailers we talked about, we went, ‘uh, Scarlett Johanssen…eee…’
M: “We’re not always the smartest guys in the room”
K: “Scarlett Johanssen should go up to Ryan Reynolds and do this (flips middle finger) because she has the 2; say what you want about Iron Man 2 but it was successful, and this is gonna be mega-successful, while he’s got Green Lantern and taped-up devil face, whatever his name is.”
M: “She really impressed me in this movie, because she was the X factor going in where you weren’t sure; in that scene where everyone is preparing to do battle and she’s cocking her pistol: really? That’s gonna stop aliens? She really plays a good role.”
K: “Really bought it, and you know how I’ve been on this whole PG-13 over rated R kick the last couple months?”
M: “Over the last couple months? Since you’ve been 18.”
K: “Since I’ve been born…one of the things with the Hunger Games, ‘oh, they couldn’t show blood, they couldn’t make it R’; this has a lot of blood, this was PG-13, she’s in battle, she’s messed up…and I bought it. I bought it more than I did in The Hunger Games.”
M: “The other guy you’re thinking maybe this guy doesn’t fit in is Hawkeye, because, you’re gonna use 12th century technology to fight aliens? Guess what kids? It works out, he’s great in it. Jeremy Renner is Hawkeye.”
K: “And I like what they did with him, they kinda switched him up a little bit and threw a monkey in the wrench.”
M: “There’s some twists in this plot, you know?”
K: “Now let’s get to the all-stars, because that’s essentially what this movie is…it’s the all-star game. That’s what this is, and who came to play? They all came to play…now you have Thor, which is Chris Hemsworth, and this guy just owns this role now; he shows up, and he’s not as arrogant as he was. He’s still go the arrogance, but he’s not as reckless as he was in the Thor film.”
M: “He’s a little more humbled, he’s realized there’s places outside of Asgard…”
K: “He’s a god, a leader, a king!”
M: “He hasn’t been pumping quite as much iron as he used to, but you know who makes up for that? Chris Evans, that guy is huge now as Captain America.”
K: “He’s so good now as Captain America..yet another apology as to when they first announced Captain America was Chris Evans; ‘eeehhhhh’…he’s so good now as Captain America. He has that moral high ground and the goody-two-shoes and the World War II and he plays it so well you believe that Captain America is in this time.”
M: “Robert Downey Jr is Iron Man, and you talk about owning a role…I don’t know if I can separate the two any more, and that’s not a criticism, that’s just that he’s so good as Iron Man, and yes, there’s a little AC/DC for ya.”
K: “You know who Robert Downey Jr is in this movie?”
M: “Iron Man?”
K: “Besides that. A note to Michael Bay…you can be funny in films and not cartoonish. He hits, he nails it, it doesn’t suck you out of the scene because you go, ‘oh, that was funny’.”
M: “He’s not the only source of humor in the film, which I was happy with, but he’s very funny in the film, but this movie has a very good overall sense of humor…the tone was so perfect that Joss Whedon hit, and you talk about hitting stuff…
K: “I was gonna say, can we talk about the scene-stealer, the guy that was the best part of the movie, and was the Hulk. Because Ang Lee almost pissed away the Hulk forever, and then Ed Norton’s version, I really liked, I think alot of people did too…Ruffalo owns Bruce Banner and the way that it works, and they set it up so nicely and they tease you with it…and he comes out. Smash!”
VIDEO CLIP
K: “One other thing we gotta talk about, Loki.”
M: “Tom Hiddleston is Loki, in Thor he crushed it out of the park, in this one he crushes is out of the parking lot.”
K: “He’s great, and I remember we did some list about villians and it was YouReviewers Awards and I was like ‘eh, Loki, ok fine’…he’s so good in this because he’s got that little brother complex and he’s pissed off…not just that Emperor pure evil, but something drives him, and he’s kind of a whiny little bitch.”
M: “Yeah, he’s got that little brother mentality, but he’s also got a real 80′s rock lead singer vibe about him too…he’s got some flash, he’s got some showmanship. That’s what a great villian is, kids.”
K: “Yeah, he’s a great villain in this movie, and yeah…the Avengers? He spruced them up.”
M: “There’s so many scene-stealers in this movie, and to have all these elements and bring them all together…Joss Whedon when he was announced as the director, you wonder is this going to be a Sam Raimi situation, where he’s such a big fan that it kinda overshadows what the point of the whole movie is. He did this so expertly, he should have a labcoat, and glasses…he should get a degree from a prestigious university for how well he maneuvered this.”
K: “It’s fantastic and it’s so much fun…it’s everything you want out of a comic book movie. It’s two and a half hours, and at one point I honestly didn’t want them to beat the bad guys because I wanted it to be six hours.”
M: “You know what my criticism about this movie is? There’s not a sequel coming out next week.”
K: “Right, exactly…and there is a hidden scene, so make sure you stick around for that.”
VIDEO CLIP
K: “Alright, so let’s Schmoe this thing, it kicks off the summer, it really makes you think 2012 is gonna be fun, I love this movie…I’m doing it 5/5 Schmoes!”
M: “5 out of 5 Schmoes!”
K: “What’s wrong with it? Except maybe there’s a couple holes in the plot, who cares?”
M: (slaps Kristian in the face) “You know what I’m doing? Bang: 5/5 Schmoes…you can’t give a movie 5 and then complain…”
K: “I didn’t complain…I was just saying…”
M: “That’s why this is fun, we both love this movie, we both give it a perfect score, I believe it’s the first time in history that we both give the movie a 5…”
K: “No, Toy Story 3 happened.”
M: “Toy Story 3 was the last time, this is the first live-action film…can I say one more thing? You brought up Michael Bay earlier…at the end of Transformers 3 there’s this 45 minute action scene that I hated because it was great special effects but you couldn’t tell what the hell was going on. Guess what? There’s a way to do that, and to follow story, to root for the good guys and root against the bad guys…the end of this movie is just so epic, it blew my mind. Not an easily blown mind right here.”
K: “Alright, so that brings it to you guys…did you see it yet? Are you going to see it? When you see it, what did you think…let us know, we really wanna know, who’s your favorite Avenger? And if you’re new to Schmoeville and watching this from our website, click that button right there, subscribe to us on Youtube. Thanks alot!”
VIDEO CLIP
M: “Looking forward to seeing this…I may go see this one again.”
K: “Oh hey guess what pal? We are officially the first Youtube movie reviewers to be certified on Rotten Tomatoes. Hopefully it will open the door for alot more of you guys out there, and once we find out more about it, we’ll let you know.”
M: “The door is ajar…beep…beep…beep”
OUT TAKE
END VID
