Schmoes Know… Funny movie reviews from people like you!
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INTRO
Kristian: Mark, I saw a shooting star last night.
Mark: Don’t do it dude…stop wishing! Stop wishing! (turns into a teddy bear) Really dude? Stupid magic.
K: Nice bowtie.
VIDEO CLIPS
K: Hey everybody, welcome back to the Schmoes Know show…I’m Kristian.
M: And I’m Mark, and today we review Seth Mac…I can’t do this. Please turn me back into a human being.
K: They wanna see you as a bear.
M: I hate wearing bowties!
K: Fine.
K: Hey, nice to see ya pal.
M: Do you know where we go when that happens?
K: No, what goes on?
M: It’s painful.
K: Hey everyone in Schmoeville, we are very excited to be reviewing the new film Ted, the directorial debut of Seth MacFarlane of Family Guy fame.
M: That’s right and as you may know from this show or meeting me in real life, I am a huge monster fan of Family Guy, so as soon as I heard of this movie, saw the trailer, I was excited. It’s this foul mouthed trash talking real stuffed bear, and it’s a really funny movie.
K: So what’s the premise of this movie? What I liked about it is they don’t do that whole some people can understand him, some can’t…no everyone can hear him, it’s a cool thing for a while then they get over it and his best buddy is Mark Wahlberg.
M: Yeah, they rip off the band aid right away…Wahlberg gets this bear as a child, he’s not the coolest kid in school so he wishes the stuffed animal could come to life and be his best friend. Lo and behold there’s some magic in the air and there’s people who can wield it and he gets all over the news; everyone acknowledges that there’s a talking bear that walks amongst us.
VIDEO CLIPS
K: Now what could’ve happened with this is they do the schtick with the foul-mouthed bear, he talks dirty and that’s all they got, a one-trick pony. And that’s not what the movie actually is because the film has heart and the bear has character.
M: The bear has character, but he is the star of the movie.
K: It’s not a one-trick pony!
M: It’s not, but that’s the central thing going on for sure.
K: Yeah, and it’s fun to watch him drink and swear and make sexual innuendo at people…that’s hysterical.
K: It’s a buddy movie, and it happens to be a buddy movie with a stuffed bear…but they have better chemistry than the Rish Hour films in my opinion.
M: You have Mark Wahlberg in the film, Mila Kunis, a bunch of other people popping in and out…they all know to get out of the way of Ted , they’re aware it’s his movie.
K: Walking out of this theater I saw an old British couple…well, older than us…and they were saying “I didn’t get it, not my cup of tea, didn’t grasp the references”, and I’m thinking “of course you didn’t get the references, you’re 187 years old.”
M: So you think this is a movie for our generation?
K: 100%. Because this is Seth MacFarlane; if you don’t like his humor, you probably won’t like this movie…there’s pop culture references all over this movie and they are hysterical.
M: I think that fans of Family Guy will love this movie, if you’re not I think there’s still things you can get into. I think Family Guy is the funniest show on tv right now; this film didn’t make me laugh quite as hard as that show, but it did come awful close.
K: See, that’s an unfair argument though, because this thing is almost 2 hours and Family Guy is 23 minutes.
M: Oh, they’re shorter???
K: Mark Wahlberg is really good in this, he’s likable in genereal but you could tell her he really enjoyed himself and made great friends with the bear.
M: Yeah, and I thought Mila Kunis, she does the voice of Meg on Family Guy, did a great job of walking that line between being the nice girl accepting of this stuffed bear while also expressing the desire to move on with life. But she wasn’t a bitch about it.
K: No, it was real….that’s what I liked about it, realistic in the way she playd it. That’s the thing a lot of times with these comedies is they go way over the top, not real and you go “umm…who am I with?” I was with these guys the whole time.
M: There’s a lot of pop culture references in here, particularly one that…we do classic reviews sometimes and one of the films we chose plays a role in this.
K: Something that made me so excited…I felt like I was 5 years old watching this. Heard that this particular actor was going to play a cameo in the movie, but it’s more than that; it’s an actual part crucial to the development of this story and what the bear and Wahlberg get from this is the same thing it means to me. Loved seeing it, felt like I was a kid again.
M: The cameos are fun, it’s a hilarious film that gets a little slow towards the end simply because it has to tell a real story, but then gets funny with a couple gut-punches at the end. It’s hysterical and the funniest movie I’ve seen so far this year.
VIDEO CLIPS
M: Going into this movie, I wanted laugh a lot…I’m a hige Seth MacFarlane fan and I’m going 4/5 Schmoes for Ted.
K: Haven’t laughed this hard at a movie in w while, defintiely right that it’s the funniest movie of the year, we have a push at 4/5 Schmoes my friend. Happy to see Seth MacFarlane take such a good first step on the big screen.
VIDEO CLIPS
K: Alright Schmoeville, are you excited to see it? Going to see it? Please let us know, comment…and tomorrow on our podcast we’re gonna be talking best sex scenes in movies with our special guest Bonnie Sommerville.
M: We’ll be fully clothed but talking about sex in movies…what’s your favorite sex scene? Love to talk to Bonnie about that.
K: Creep. I liked you better when you were a bear…
OUTTRO
