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Kristian: Snow White and the Huntsman!
Mark: And who woulda thought…Kristin Stewart is hotter then Charlize Theron! (K punches M) Dude…I was kidding.
K: I know.
K: Snow White and the Huntsman…this is the movie that, when they announced there would be two Snow White movies, everyone heard Kristin Stewart as Snow and went ‘Ugh, not Kristin Stewart’…then the trailers came out, and this is the one that looked fantastic.
M: Yeah, this was the more epic one…Mirror, Mirror was the more family, jokey one, which I loved.
K: The shitty one.
M: No, it was good, really good…and this one was the epic version, the trailers had a Hobbity, Lord of the Rings feel to it. The one big question: could Kristin Stewart pull off Snow White?
K: Look, I think you had a bigger problem with her than I did…which is strange. Some weird personality changes with you recently.
M: Well here’s the thing, this movie has a big epic feel, and I really liked Kristin Stewart for a majority of this movie, I thought she was pulling it off pretty well…then Snow White has to go from being a tough chick to a leader of men, and that’s where I didn’t buy it. Felt like a bad pregame speech…if she’s your quarterback, you better have a good running game.
K:I agree with you there…she has no range.
M: She did smile.
K: She did smile, and that’s the part where I felt like it was forced, like she was really acting and it was hard.
M: Looks like a lot of work.
K:Rupert Sanders, first time director, and to do a movie like this on this scale, that’s pretty impressive.
M: Yeah, he was just scratching himself on the couch and they’re like “hey, you wanna make Snow White?” “Sure.”
K: Sometimes he shot Stewart and it looked like Snow White, other times she was very little girlish, and to say she’s hotter than Charlize Theron? The only time she’s hotter than Theron is when Charlize is an old lady.
M: Yeah, Charlize Theron is the evil queen…Stewart is Snow White, and you know the story. Snow White gets cast out of the kingdom and the queen takes over, everything dies, Snow White is a refugee and has to lead a rebellion against the queen so that fairies and deer can run free in meadows once again.
K: That’s true, and what I liked is that you know this story, but every so often if would throw you for a loop; you’d say “I know what’s coming…oh, I didn’t expect that, that’s not how it happened.” And you’re ok with that because it’s a new take on it, and they really put you in this mystical, fantastical world if you will.
K:I enjoyed this movie, but I will talk about some of the things I didn’t like; it was a little inconsistent at times and it reminded me of Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves with the accents, they’re all over the map. At one point Kristin Stewart tries a British accent, then it disappears, then she’s hanging out with Chris Hemsworth, who’s doing a Scottish accent, so she goes Scottish.
M: Whatever accent Hemsworth was doing in the movie, that’s the one I wanted because that’s the one I bought the most. Charlize Theron had a cool accent for an evil queen.
K: She was the reason all this stuff was going down, it’s a new take on the evil queen, because there’s a backstory to her now, you see why she’s the way she is. But, there’s a couple times when she’s a little over the top: “Mirror mirror, on the walllllll…you’re my brotherrrrr!” And it’s like, easy Monster, easy.
M: But if you show up to set and they’re like “Kristin Stewart’s hotter than you”, you’re like… “what? Pardon?”
K: Good things about this movie: I liked the fast pace, I like the action, I like the spin on it…it was brutal in a good way. Not a Piranha 3D way, but when they went for it, they went for it and in the beginning , there’s a lot of set-up. There’s murder, there’s betrayal, all these things that make a good action/fantasy film, it’s all there. I enjoyed it, I really had a fun time with this movie.
M: Yeah, it had that epic feel…I thought it got a little slow at points, it got a little too happy with itself for how big and sprawling it was. But that’s fine, it’s that kinda movie. Best part of the film for me? Chris Hemsworth. That dude rocks in this movie.
K: He’s a star, he’s got that old school Mel Gibson meets old school Brad Pitt type of thing going on…he’s an action star, but not like a Jason Statham action star. No problem with Jason Statham, but there’s something behind this. There’s a reason for what he does, there’s emotion when he talks. He brings in that Han Solo sense of humor when he needs it.
M: Yeah, and when he has a big speech at the end, you buy everything. He gots chops, kids…Thor can act.
K: And it was hard, his chemistry with Kristin Stewart, because she still mopes a lot in this, looks confused.
M: I didn’t think she was for the first 90 minutes, and then it’s like she reverted back. Once you get into the fourth quarter and it’s crunch time, that’s when it all falls apart.
K: I know, I heard her say “Jacob” at one point. One thing that I loved about this movie…you have to compare parts of this with Mirror, Mirror; I know that you loved the dwarves in that, I thought they were fine. The dwarves in this? School them, because these are real actors, trained actors. You have Ian McShane, Bob Hoskins…
M: Nick Frost, Toby Jones…Toby Jones was the only one I recognized was Toby Jones because I thought they were all dwarves, they did a lot of cgi with that. Whereas your Mirror, Mirror dwarves are more sitcom, broadway style; these guys are like Juliard, Shakespeare versed dwarves.
K: I think you’re invested in this movie from the time it starts..I agree with you at times that when Kristin Stewart is putting on the armor, it gets a little inconsistent…but overall I had fun with this movie. I’m gonna go 3.5/5 Schmoes.
M: 3.5…I’m right around that same place, I was actually gonna give it 3.6/5 Schmoes, which is not as high as Mirror, Mirror, Kristian (K punches M again). You know what? Mirror, Mirror surprised me and this one had a high ceiling and didn’t hit it so, I don’t feel bad. Mirror, Mirror…you pulled the upset. You won.
K: My opinion? This blows Mirror, Mirror out of the water. It’s a fun movie, I can see where people may get pissed off: if you have a real problem with Kristin Stewart, you just can’t take her? This is not gonna change your mind, because she’s mopey, she smiles a little, but she does what she has to do.
K: You guys…you excited for this one? Do you think it’s gonna knock off MIB3 at the box office this weekend, and how much is it gonna make? Let us know, and check out our podcast. We just had Bai Ling on, and it was pretty funny.
M: Yeah, it was awesome. Lotta fun.
M: You think I like walking around town every day being the guy that liked Mirror, Mirror? You think I’m whistling to work?
K: Yes. Yes I do.
M: No, it’s embarassing…but it’s true.
K: You embrace it. Last night, you’re like “I liked Mirror, Mirror! I did, it was great!”
M: I brought a Mirror, Mirror pennat to the screening last night.
K: Thought you would honor that Snow White and grow your unibrow.
M: I painted my chest.
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