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Our review of Parker
KRISTIAN: Jason Statham’s new action flick is called “Parker”, yet this isn’t the first time this character has been on screen…based on a popular series of novels, he was also portrayed by Mel Gibson in “Payback” (under a different name for legal reasons). While the opening sequence of “Parker” shows that kind of gritty, fun action potential, the film quickly dissolves into a mess undone by a bad script and even worse characters. For his part, Statham is ever-reliable as a leading tough guy, but he gets saddled with the unwinnable task of teaming up with a silly, unnecessary sidekick played by Jennifer Lopez. Though not her fault, it’s this character that highlights the many reasons why “Parker” misses being an enjoyable action flick: silly, over-the-top and unmemorable.
SCORE: 2/5 Schmoes
MARK: The last decades has established Jason Statham as maybe the most reliable action star in movies: you always get credible acting, dry humor, and memorable action sequences. While this remains true in his turn as “Parker”, the rest of the film refuses to keep up and ends up washing away any positive attributes in a sea of stupidity. The least-bad guy in the flick (he only steals from people who can afford it…really? The Ohio State Fair is doing that well, huh?), Statham teams with a ridiculous real estate agent (Jennifer Lopez) to take down some crooks who did him wrong…the performances aren’t to blame here, but unfortunately everything else is: bad story, worse script, and useless subplots make “Parker” an action ride for which you won’t want a ticket.
SCORE: 2/5 Schmoes
