Schmoes Know… Funny movie reviews from people like you!
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By Kate Mulligan
It should be noted that I don’t watch “Dancing with the Stars”. I don’t say this to brag or to pretend that I’m better than you because you DO watch “Dancing with the Stars”. I’m just saying this because I have infinitely better things to do with my time than to watch a bunch of people who used to have money and fame clamber desperately to once again have both. Mainly, I have wayyyyyyyyyy too many “Real Housewives of Atlanta” episodes to watch on TiVo. Hold on… I gotta go check my boo.
I’m back. Boo sufficiently checked.
Even though I don’t watch “DWTS”, I believe the concept to be something alone the lines of; “Celebrities, mostly FORMER celebrities, compete against each other in a field they are not famous for- dancing. They are amateur dancers, but they are given a professional dance partner.” Something like that. So someone explain to me why Jennifer Grey who is ONLY famous for her dancing in Dirty Dancing (okay yes, she is also famous and for that fantastic nose job) is allowed to compete as an amateur dancer. Without having seen the show, it totally bores me to think that she won. OF COURSE SHE WON. IT’S A DANCE SHOW. THAT’S WHAT SHE DOES…. SHE DANCES!!!
But I’m going to take the fact that America wants uninteresting and obvious shows as good news. I’ve got nothing but uninteresting and obvious ideas. I will strike it rich in television before the year is out:
How about this show? White Trash Hoedown.
The Palin family competes against other white American families to see who is in fact the most “White Trash”. After various stages of competitions including event such as “Hey! Shotgun this beer then shoot your shotgun” and “Seriously, who is the daddy?”, the Palins will win…. no one can beat them at their own game. Jennifer Grey-style.
Or how about this gem of an idea? A real suspense-builder. I call it “Rim Shots”
It’s LeBron James vs. The San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus in a competition to see who is better at basketball. LeBron will dominate; Jennifer Grey-style. He will also win the side competition: “Biggest Douchebag”.
Or my personal favorite of the bunch: “The Sheen Team”
Charlie Sheen along with friends Mel Gibson and Tiger Woods compete against homeless men and convicted felons to see who can degrade and threaten the highest number of women by sundown. But who will possibly win!?! The Sheen Team will win hands down, Jennifer Grey-style. The homeless have NOTHING on them when it comes to making women feel unsafe.
If “obvious” is what the American public wants, then they shall get it in spades. Personally, I’ll stick to “Real Housewives of Atlanta”, because you really never can tell who is going to lose their house next.
-KM
Excellent post and great jokes, I like this girl