Schmoes Know… Funny movie reviews from people like you!
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INTRO
Mark: I’m Officer Johnson, this is Officer Steel.
Kristian: And we’ve had some nois complaints…I can’t do this dude.
M: Come on, man…you’re ruining every girl’s fantasy!
K: No, I’m stopping every girl’s nightmare.
VIDEO CLIPS
K: Hey everyone in Schmoeville..lots of reviews this week Mark, and our latest one is of the new action film Magic Mike.
M: It’s the male stripper movie everybody, let’s rip that band aid off right away…bunch of scantily clad dudes starring Channing Tatum, Matthew McConaughey and a host of other handsome dudes. Not sure how I got left out…and it’s a drama directed by Steven Soderbergh. He did a male stripper movie, Kristian!
K: That’s right…you know what this is? It’s the female and gay dude’s Avengers.
M: Lots of men on stage, acting out various fantasies for women, and so I get the comparison to the Avengers. Less explosions, thank goodness.
M: Look, it’s a tough sell…it’s tougher than it is to get women to see a movie about female strippers. But it is what it is, and for what this is, I really enjoyed the movie.
K: Look, the saving grace for guys going to see this is: “Oh, Soderbergh did it? The guy that did Ocean’s 11 and Haywire?” That’s the excuse, Soderbergh did it.
K: The movie is loosely based on a brief period in Channing Tatum’s life.
M: He used to be a male stripper, and you can tell watching his moves on stage…I’m not throwing a dollar at the guy, but I’ll flip him a quarter. Nice work.
K: I joked that it’s The Avengers, but like we would get excited to see that or The Dark Knight…these women were going crazy for this movie. They were still screaming when the credits rolled.
M: And especially for Tatum…he’s the star, and the best dancer of the bunch.
K: When you take your girl to see this, one of two things can happen: you’ll have crazy sex that night, or she’ll leave you for a guy named Chip.
M: Or Channing.
M: Let’s talk about him because I saw him in GI Joe, and that whole movie was so awful, I hated everything about it…since then, he has impressed me with his versatility as an actor. Dude’s got chops.
K: For the long-time members of Schmoeville, they know I used to rip on him a bit, get his name wrong…used to call him Channing Chat Chat. But now, after his last few performances, he has earned my respect and I will call him Channing Tatum. There is one scene that he’s not great in, but for that I don’t blame him; I think that the female lead in this was miscast.
M: She’s the love interest, the sister of the guy that Tatum takes under his male-stripper wing…and I think they had some great chemistry together except for that one scene you’re talking about. Other than that, they have a fun, almost romantic thing going on.
VIDEO CLIPS
K: She seems more like his sister than a love interest…very dude-ish.
M: She’s got a face, he hates when actresses have that one face that they go to.
K: It’s not her face, she’s an atrractive girl…but I just thought she was miscast. Didn’t buy it.
K: Here’s the story: Channing Chat Chat is the stripper, man-about-town, movie opens up and the first thing you see is his ass, and you worry. Uh-oh…but then the camera pans over and we see Olivia Munn’s boobs, so we’re all square. He meets I Am Number Four, and that guy becomes his protégé, and his sister is the girl we’re talking about.
M: Tatum wants to get out of this world; meanwhile Matthew McConaughey is the overlord of this male stripper world…what Gary Oldman in Dracula is to vampires, that’s McConaughey to strippers.
K: And he gets to reprise his role from Dazed and Confused, like an older version of that character.
K: The cast of characters in the strip club: Matthew McConaughey is great. “Alright, alright, alright”…he gets to do that again and it’s fantastic schtick. These other strippers? Great camaraderie from the get-go, we meet them at the beginning, we’re excited to learn more of their story. Kevin Nash, an old-school wrestler has a funny scene with I Am Number Four…but you don’t get to see much of them, they kinda disappear to the background.
M: Well, it’s Tatum’s story about how he is trying to separate himself from the pack.
K: I know but I still wanted to know more about these other guys…I was like: “ok Soderbergh, you set me up, what are they all about”? And they just devolve into glorified extras.
M: And it’s a frequent complaint that you have walking out of a movie theater: “I wish I got to meet more male strippers”.
K: Now, I’m going to put a disclaimer on this before I Schmoe it up, because people will yell: “wait a minute, that’s the same score he gave Spiderman!”. Yes, I’m giving this movie 3.5/5 Schmoes…they’re two different movies; I was entertained by this film through and through. The storylines didn’t tie up as well as I would have liked them to, but maybe that’s just realism. 3.5/5.
M: Yeah, I’m gonna tie you. It’s a push, 3.5/5 Schmoes because I liked watching the movie…really good story, it is about male strippers; get over it everybody. I did.
K: Schmoeville, how about you guys…are you gonna see this without your wives, without your girlfriends? Let us know.
M: Don’t worry about the subject matter, it’s a good movie guys. Get in there and rip off that band aid like it’s pull-away shorts that a male stripper would wear.
VIDEO CLIPS
M: I enjoyed it…if you have a problem watching a movie about male strippers, pretend they’re comedians. Pretend they’re magicians. You can make it through.
K: It’s funny because you do get de-sensitized to all this male hot dog flapping stuff going on…after a while you just get into the story and see what’s actually going on here.
M: Does that happen to women? Do you think they get de-sensitized to it? Is that why I can’t get past the third date? They’re like: “oh, I’ve seen so much goodness…I’m just de-sensitized to how great this man is.”
K: False.
OUTTRO
