Schmoes Know… Funny movie reviews from people like you!
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Our Review of Lawless:
INTRO
Mark: Lawless! And Darth Bane is excited about it. Very peppy for being such an evil guy.
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Kristian: Hello Schmoeville! Mark, I’m happy because after sitting though Premium Rush and you had to deal with The Apparition, we finally got to see a good movie, Lawless.
M: Lawless, the film starring Shia LaBeouf, Tom Hardy and Jason Clarke as the Bondurant brothers. The film takes place during the World War I era but instead of dealing with international politics, this focuses on small town affairs, particularly booze running.
K: It actually takes place during the Prohibition Era, and these brothers live in this dinky town and they run stuff.
M: Stuff? How about sweet delicious moonshine?
K: Booze. And then gangsters get involved, bigger politicians, and these brothers don’t want to back down. What better way to stand up for your interests than to have Tom Hardy as your leader?
M: Bane leading the charge, and this movie had a Public Enemies vibe to it; you feel totally immersed in this time and the southern dialect, a tough one to not go overboard on, was pulled off very well by all parties in the film.
K: I agree, and Tom Hardy was shooting Batman at the same time as this, so it’s very hard to not hear Bane when he’s doing that kinda menacing grumble.
M: You hear and see Bane, because Hardy is so big in this…the brother in real life was kinda skinny.
K: Yeah, and to try to cover up how jacked Hardy really was, they put these layers of clothing on him, and it ends up looking like Joey when he put all of Chandler’s clothes on.
M: That’s a Friends reference, kids. See ya at Central Perk.
VIDEO CLIPS
K: Tom Hardy was great in the movie, and I was thinking that he really has become the Harrison Ford of this generation.
M: Wow, what? Easy feller…but I do love watching you gush over actors. He is fantastic, as is Jason Clarke as his brother who stumbles around drunk most of the movie (I wonder what that’s like), and then you come to the question mark: how was Shia LaBeouf?
K: Shia LaBoots. Look, I’m not the guy that’s gonna say he’s terrible just to be a douche. Is he good in this? Yeah he is. But regardless, he is still going to be known as Shia La-effin-Boots!
M: See, I don’t know if this is my fault, but every time I see him I’m aware I’m watching the actor as opposed to who the character is. But I’m also that way with Tom Hardy. I will say that LaBeouf is very capable and his southern accent was good too.
K: It’s because he’s an annoying bastard, that’s why you know who he is. What they did with him in this movie that worked is that they didn’t make him a tough guy.
M: He’s the runt of the litter.
K: And takes the pressure off him…the story centers around this kid, but when he has to be a tough guy in movies it’s like “settle down, Shia”.
M: Then on the other end of the spectrum you have Guy Pierce. There’s bad guys in this, and then really bad guys. No one is free of sin in this story, but man is Guy Pierce evil.
K: He’s got that weird hair and creepy face, and when this guy comes on screen you know that he’s a bad dude. He’s so good as the crooked lawman, he almost got to the Christoph Waltz bad guy status, I wanted him to get there but he just fell short.
M: Well that was a once-in-a-decade performance by Waltz…speaking of great actors, Gary Oldman is in this as well, and I wish he had a little more to do. Someone else I would’ve liked to have seen more of is Jessica Chastain.
K: You didn’t see enough of her??
M: Well, yeah, she does show the wares in the flick kids, so be prepared. She’s fantastic when on screen as well. Naked chicks and moonshine? Not a bad time at the movies.
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K: John Hillcote directed this movie, and most people know him from The Road, but I first heard of him with this great film called The Proposition, if you haven’t seen it you should rent it…and this shows that same style he has, where you feel like you’re in this time period; it’s a little slow but deliberate.
M: Yeah, I’ll have to check out The Proposition next time I’m renting at my local Hollywood Video. It is a slower movie and it did have a Public Enemies feel to it.
K: Yep, we heard you the first time you mentioned Public Enemies.
M: It’s that slower pace but when it does pick up it’s very satisfying, I just wanted more of that from the movie.
K: If you go in expecting full-on action you may be disappointed, but I did enjoy both the action and the slower beats, and for that I’m giving this 4/5 Schmoes.
M: I’ll go 3.5/5 Schmoes, because I did enjoy the movie, I just wish it had a bit more action. Still, job well done.
K: How about you Schmoeville? Are you looking forward to this…do you wanna see Tom Hardy again and again? That’s what I want to know.
M: Or Shia LaBeouf? Can he grow into being a solid leading man in films?
K: N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-nooooooo!
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OUTTRO
