Five Year Engagement Review

The Schmoes take the plunge into the latest rom-com from producer Judd Apatow, “The Five Year Engagement”…could the Jason Segal/Emily Blunt vehicle be a new high in wedding day shenanigans? Enjoy!

Ah, the romantic comedy…that genre so often said it’s been reduced to the term “rom-com”; when done right, it’s the type of flick that makes the girls wanna fall in love and the guys bust a gut. But over the years there’s been plenty of less-than-memorable movies in this section, that kind of dreck that makes you question whether true love can ever actually exist (or at least makes you wonder if it’s too late for the theater to give you your money back).

Being the hard-working Schmoes that they are, Mark and Kristian have seen the good, the bad and the ugly when it comes to rom-coms…heading into “The Five Year Engagement”, the boys had reason to be optimistic: made by uber-producer Judd Apatow and directed by Nicholas Stoller (“Forgetting Sarah Marshall”), the film stars Jason Segal and Emily Blunt as a couple who get engaged, then suffer through a number of setbacks that put their wedding plans on hold. As Kristian loves to point out, chemistry between the leads is everything in a movie hoping to provide both “awws” and guffaws; and as a student of the genre, Mark knows a humorous romance is only as good as it’s supporting cast. “The Five Year Engagement” brings in plenty of relief, co-starring everyone from Chris Pratt, Kevin Hart and Rhys Ifhans to Mindy Kaling and Jacki Weaver.

Couples fall in and out of love all the time, relationships get rekindled every day, and people are constantly hoping to meet “the one”…however it is much more rare to find a romantic comedy that can combine all of these human activities and interject humor throughout. Would “The Five Year Engagement” be up to the task? Schmoes Know, and they have the answer for you right now!

And for the full transcript of this review, have no fear:

MARK: “Man five years is a long time, what’s the longest you’ve ever been in a relationship?”
(Kristian holds up wedding ring)
MARK: “Uh, well I’ve got a few weeks under my belt.”
KRISTIAN: “What do you have a Chia Pet?”

INTRO

KRISTIAN: “Hey everybody, welcome back to The Schmoes, if you are new to Schmoeville, click that subscribe button and you’ll never miss a review ever again.”
MARK: “We got the Five Year Engagement today Kristian. It’s a Romantic Comedy and it’s starring Jason Segel and Emily Blunt and a whole host of other people. They love each other, they fall out of love, they love each other, they fall out of love, here it goes.”
KRISTIAN: “I mean kind of, I don’t think they ever fall out of love…I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
MARK: “You’re more of the love expert than I am….(points to Kristian).lover..(points to self)..fighter.”
KRISTIAN:”Yeah you were still thinking about The Avengers…Now in the posters you see “From the producers of Bridesmaids!” The big hit was Bridesmaids so they are going ot promote Bridesmaids. Apatow was a part of the production team but Nicholas Stoller directed this movie. Nicholas Stoller who directed Get Him to the Greek and Forgetting Sarah Marshall.”
MARK: “Enjoyed both of them, really Forgetting Sarah Marshall especially.”
KRISTIAN: “Yeah, so how did he do with this one?”
MARK: “I really really enjoyed this movie, I think what we really liked about this movie, the performances.”
KRISTIAN: “I agree.”
MARK: “If this was like a wedding party, I liked everyone at the wedding, there wasn’t the asshole at the wedding and gets drunk and does what I do.”
KRISTIAN:”We have pictures.”
(FILM CLIP)
KRISTIAN: “The main thing with this movie is that you have to have chemistry and Emily Blunt, they have it. Jason Segel, likable guy, dig his movies but it’s Emily Blunt. She is one of the best, if not the best..”
MARK: “You’re in love with this one.”
KRISTIAN: “If you put her next to a trash can, she’s going to have chemistry with that trash can.”
MARK: “So you can put her next to Hayden Christiansen and it would be fine?”
KRISTIAN: “Yes, absolutely they would be like “Hey he is a good Darth Vader.”
MARK: “So that’s our couple, Emily Blunt and Jason Segel but what is a couple especially in a Romantic comedy without the best friends or the sisters. Segel has a really funny best friend and Emily Blunt has a really really funny sister.”
KRISTIAN: “The funny thing about the best friend, what’s his name?”
MARK: “Chris Pratt.”
KRISTIAN: “There are a lot of times when he is telling jokes and you feel this could bomb, maybe Stiffler obnoxious..”
MARK: “We like Stiffler but that character is one that could go so far south so quickly and just ruin the whole movie but I thought he crushed it.”
KRISTIAN: “What was he in before?”
MARK: “He is on the show Parks and Recreation.”
KRISTIAN: “Right but he was also in the Oscar nominated Moneyball, this is why I liked his performance in this because he is so silly in this movie as opposed to that movie that was so serious, thought it was a great job. You also have a lot of supporting characters that add to it. Jackie Weaver who was the Oscar nominated actress from Animal Kingdom who plays Emily Blunts mom.”
MARK: “Oh wow, I didn’t even realize that! And you have all these other friends too, Chris Parnell from SNL fame is hysterical in it. Brian Posehn is very funny.”
KRISTIAN: “I’d like to talk about Rhys Ifan, he was another guy that could have been over the top as the dumb professor but he played it real and has some great lines, something about a caveman download which was amazing.”
(VIDEO CLIPS)
KRISTIAN: “This movie is very long. Apatow likes to do long movies, whether he is producing them or whatever he is doing. Romantic comedies, I feel should be one-thirty, one-forty tops. If you are going to make it two, everything needs to hit and this doesn’t do it. It really feels like Gone With the Wind.”
MARK: “This was like two-ten and sometimes like three hour epics that go by really quickly, this one doesn’t but every time I was feeling fatigue I was feeling fatigue in the theater, I’d come out of it every so often because they had this scenes in it that were so funny. Having said that you could have accordioned the movie a lot.”
(VIDEO CLIPS)
KRISTIAN: “The reason it feels like the Five Year Movie, it is because the tone is all over the place. That was my biggest problem with the movie. Sometimes it feels like a silly comedy and then it’s a drama and then it is absurd, then light-hearted. It is so all over the place. It just takes forever and it has so many Lord of the Rings type endings, I was bored.”
MARK: “It is a little overly ambitious and now that you mention it, reminds me of Funny People, starts off as one thing and goes into all these different tones and you (taps wrist) come on guys people have lives to live.”
(VIDEO CLIPS)
MARK: “It’s a long movie but I think it’s worth it to sit through it because it will bring you a lot of joy.”
KRISTIAN: “See I’m not on that page. I think it would be a fun date movie once but I think girls are going to like this more than guys. (To Mark) You don’t count, you liked Mirror Mirror.
After a while it is just painful.”
MARK: “I know that feeling, let’s Schmoe this bitch and get out of here.”
KRISTIAN: “This is going to be a hard one for me to Schmoe. I liked the actors in it, script was ok, the tone was inconsistent. I’m going to go 2.5 out of 5. You know what, because of the chemistry between Emily Blunt and Segel was so good, I say it just enters the 3 town but it could have been 2.5″
MARK: ” I am going to give this movie 3.5 out of 5 Schmoes. It’s a little long but very funny throughout the movie and I enjoyed it.”
KRISTIAN: “How about you guys? Are you going to see this movie? Do you care? Is there something else you are going to see this weekend? Let us know, comment below and if you are new to Schmoeville, you click that button right there and never miss a review ever again.”
(VIDEO CLIPS)
OUT TAKE
END VID

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