Schmoes Know… Funny movie reviews from people like you!
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By Captain Dan
So I really need to start proofreading this blog better. I could care less about grammatical and spelling errors, i feel my readers are probably more intelligent than me, so you’ll figure out what I am saying. However I noticed two HUGE mistakes from my end of the Summer blog. Mistakes I wish to correct:
#1 Woody Allen’s HANNAH AND HER SISTERS made just as much as MIDNIGHT IN PARIS, as of now.
#2 IDIOT BROTHER is with Paul Rudd, HESHER is the movie with Joseph Gordon Levitt. I want to see both. Paul Rudd is a funny man. And JGL is a straight up Bad Ass.
Good now my soul feels better. Now on to…”
The House of Winslet
Ying to the yang, flip side of the coin, counterpart, men and women. Women always claim they can do anything a man can do and even do it better. Not true ladies, not everything. Can you pee standing up? Ok, maybe some women can do that, but we will always do it better. There is one example where there is no argument. Women can act just as well as men, and more often than not, better. Kate Winslet is a shining representation of this indisputable fact. Time and time again, she astonishes, captivates, and totally takes control of an audience. This is a woman who has stood toe to toe with Leonardo Dicaprio, TWICE! She was able to steal every scene from the king of scene stealers, Jim Carrey. She played Ophelia to Ken Brannaghs’s Hamlet, she shared the screen and dominated it against Johnny Depp. Kate Winslet is the brightest star in Hollywood, and in this humble man’s opinion the most talented actress of her generation. Hell she may just be one of the most talented actors of any generation. Brando, Olivier, Hepburn, Streep, Winslet. Yep, that fits.
Kate Winlset is the flipside to my Harrison Ford coin. She is my favorite everything.
It was the end of 1997, and the anticipated biggest flop of all time was about to hit screens. TITANIC was considered by many to be just as doomed as the ill-fated ocean liner it portrays. Oh sure it would make at least 100 million or maybe 150 but the budget had been rumored to be north of 200 million almost as much as 225 million. Add in all the marketing, that’s 300 million smackers riding on a 3 ½ hour retelling of Romeo & Juliet against the back drop of one of the greatest tragedies of the last century. 15 years later, studios still balk at budgets near 200 mil, and after GREEN LANTERN, who could blame them? So you can imagine the nervousness of execs back then. Even with James Cameron forfeiting his paycheck and reportedly putting up some of his own scratch to make his dream project come true. The latter I believe has been disputed, but I don’t feel like looking it up. I’m a blogger not a journalist, you look it up. Regardless, Cameron may never have recovered if this flopped. Over a billon dollars in ticket sales. Nuff said.
F yeah, I posted that song. Don’t lie, every time you heard that song a week after you saw that movie, you cried. Granted, you may have been crying because they wouldn’t stop playing that Mother Fing song, but you still cried.
TITANIC may have spring-boarded DiCaprio into Super Star status, but people kind of knew who he was, even if it was just as that GROWING PAINS kid. But Kate was new to the masses. The artsy crowd and Oscar groupies knew her from the previous year’s SENSE AND SENSIBILTY but most had never heard of this porcelain doll looking British import. How easy it was to fall in love with her. For me it was instant. I totally bought Jack Dawson falling in love with this beautiful Rose. I bought it, because I fell in love with her at first sight as well. As soon as she stepped out of that old Model-T and tilted her head towards the sun, I was smitten. In a movie with so much to look at, I couldn’t take my eyes of this red-headed angel. And her boobs are awesome. Isn’t that right Oprah?
The love affair continued after I left the movie theater and continues today. I went out and rented every Kate Winslet movie that had been released. Hell, even A KID IN KING ARTHUR’S COURT starring the ROOKIE OF THE YEAR/AMERICAN PIE kid. As soon as one came on HBO, I taped it. Every interview, every special. Taped and taped. I was obsessed. Sure, I’ve had crushes on actress’ many times at this point in my life, I was 20 year olds, of course I loved hot famous chicks. But never had I fallen so head over heels for a celebrity.
AND SHE CAN SING TOO!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?!? It’s like God reached into my brain, found the spot where I have formed what the perfect woman would be and created Kate Winslet. She is so ridiculously talented, it’s almost unfair. So incredibly beautiful, I could just look at her forever. Not to mention, humble.(I worked with a dude who drove her around. This fact is true.) She is also hilarious.
First movie I watched after I had seen TITANIC, was Peter Jackson’s first fantasy film HEAVENLY CREATURES, the movie that convinced New Line to take a chance on this little known Kiwi director’s expensive LORD OF THE RINGS Trilogy. That kind of worked out. And it may not have, if not for very young Kate Winslet. Not quite what you think, it’s the story of two young girls with uncaring and unfit parents who escape to a fantasy world they invented, where there are princesses. I know what you’re thinking, this has been done before, WRONG! Not like this. Not with Jackson’s unique vision. And not with a performance by a 15-year old Kate Winslet that rivaled anything actress’s triple her age were doing. This and Guillermo Del Toro’s PAN’S LABYRINTH, would be an excellent double feature.
The next flick was probably the most difficult time I ever had watching Ms. Winslet. Not because of her, because she was brilliant, of course. The movie was JUDE. Only ANGELA’S ASHES is more depressing. Anyone who wants to see Kate knock it out of the park once again, watch this. However be forewarned, it is not an easy pill to swallow. But those of you whom dare to take the plunge, will be treated to an acting clinic akin scoring clinic Kobe gave, dropping 81 points.
She went the indie route following TITANIC, with HIDEOUS KINKY and Jane Campion’s HOLY SMOKE, but it wasn’t until she was teamed with another superstar that the world once again took notice of this spitfire from across the pond. Michel Gondry’s masterpiece, ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF A SPOTLESS MIND, was a trip in more ways than one. But a blue-haired eccentric beauty was still the center of attention. Followed that up two years later playing a bored, adulterous housewife in LITTLE CHILDREN. Both of these were Oscar nominated, her fourth and fifth nominations following SENSE AND SENSIBLITY, TITANIC, and IRIS.
2009 was finally the YEAR OF KATE. Oh and what a year it was. Oscar finally came home. Taking on a role of a former Nazi SS guard who was intimately involved with death of over 300 Jewish women, was a brave move. How could we love her now? Somehow she did it. Somehow, she humanized a Nazi in a way that had never been done before. Yes her character deserved to die or be imprisoned for life for what she had done, but you still took pity on her. And believe you me, there is nothing this guy loves more than killing Nazis(In video games of course) or watching them get they’re head’s bashed in by the Bear Jew. “TEDDY FUCKIN BALLGAME” GOES YARD!!!!” Maybe I’m biased here, because it is my dream woman playing this particular Nazi, but she wouldn’t have won that Oscar, if she didn’t grab some other people by the heartstrings as well. On top of that Oscar, she also won two Golden Globes in the same year! Seriously!? Yep, her reunion with Leo in REVOLUTIONARY ROAD along with the READER, notched her two GG’s. I know in the past I’ve had my reservations about the Foreign Press’s awards, but this is still an amazing feat.
Also, did I mention she’s funny?
Beauty, brains, talent, a naughty sense of humor, does it get any better than that? Sit down and watch at least 2 Kate movies, I don’t care which, any 2 will do, now I dare you not to fall in love. Double Dare you, triple dog dare YOU!
I kinda like Kate Winslet.
Cap Out.
