Schmoes Know… Funny movie reviews from people like you!
loading...
More trouble for Arnold Schwarzenegger. 80′s icon (and Stallone Goo Receptacle) Brigitte Nielsen says she also had an affair with the body builder-turned actor-turned-Governor. Just once, I’d like to find out that Arnold had sex with a woman.
“MEN OF A CERTAIN AGE”
Speaking of man on man action, Twilight’s Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner shared a steamy kiss at the MTV Movie Awards. This was so much cooler when it was Britney Spears and Madonna.
Pattinson also broke new ground by dropping an F bomb during the live telecast. Though to be fair, what he said was “F*ck; I just kissed Taylor Lautner!”
In hockey news, the Stanley Cup Finals between the Vancouver Canucks and the Boston Bruins has been a grudge match for the ages. The finals airing on Versus have been so engrossing, they actually scored a 17! No, not a 17 rating share; 17 is just how many people could actually find Versus in their channel lineup.
“STANLEY CUP ORR BUST”
There was controversy in Game One of the Finals when Canuck Alex Burrows bit the finger of Bruin Patrice Bergeron, proving once again that Canada Bites.
“BITE ME”
In NBA news, the Big Nickname, Shaquille O’Neal, has officially retired from the NBA. Though, according to Boston Celtics fans, Shaq retired sometime around January.
“SHAQROCK SHAKE”
Over in the NBA playoffs, the Miami Heat are poised to beat the Dallas Mavericks and win LeBron James his first Championship Title. As for Dirk Nowitzki, the only way he’s getting a ring is if he takes his talents to South Beach.
“DIGGLER”
In celebrity news, Josh Duhamel is taking his talents back to daytime TV, reprising his roll of Leo du Pres on ABC’s All My Children. Why, you ask? Apparently the Transformers franchise made a network soap opera seem like Shakespeare in the Park.
“TRANSFORMATION”
In a related story, All My Children is also the title of Angelina Jolie’s Autobiography.
ABC has announced that it will be canceling All My Children, and has set the program’s farewell episode for September. So that will be your last chance to not watch this show.
Don’t worry AMC fans, the soap opera isn’t over until the fat lady sings, dies a tragic death, only to have been murdered by her identical twin sister.
Elsewhere, Eminem is suing Audi for illegally using his song Lose Yourself in one of their ads. Lawyers representing Audi say the carmaker didn’t steal the music, but only sampled it.
“8 KILOMETER”
Jennifer Aniston plans to go topless in her new movie, Horrible Bosses. Or as the rest of us are calling it, “Best Picture.”
“FRIENDS”
At he age of 42, if Aniston waits much longer to show her breasts, instead of topless she’ll have to go bottomless.
AND FINALLY…
Back at the MTV Awards, Reese Witherspoon told the audience of young teens that you don’t need to be bad to be successful, adding that she never filmed an embarrassing sex tape.
(NOTE: To Witherspoon’s new husband, Jim Toth: Dude, you have ONE job. We’re all counting on you.)
Check out the Beatrice News Scoop Archive here.
