The current state of the movie star

By Kristian Harloff

The one thing I will say about Tom Cruise besides being nuttier than squirrel shit, is that he worked to get to his status. To me, he is the last real movie star. He started from some shit movie with Shelly Long as some asshole kid who couldn’t get laid to Risky Business, All the Right Moves, Top Gun….
“You can say whatever you want about me now, but I say you are a lying rat if you don’t stop on Top Gun every time it is on TBS.”

You see where I am going? The dude had to work for the status, for the big money, for the franchises. He wasn’t just handed big movies because the studios needed a star. Tom Cruise made us fall in love with the work he was doing. He delivered, like a big game quarterback every time he hit the screen, so we trusted that he would give us a good movie whenever he released one. But keeping the sports analogy going so I make young Ellis proud, the old fighter loses steam as age catches on. But I have a question….
“Allow myself to introduce myself.”

Who the hell is Sam Worhthington?? Where did he come from? I feel that the studio heads popped in a few traits they needed for a star, fired the info into a Weird Science computer but somewhere along the way they spilled soda or grapejuice and this guy came out. I woke up and the next thing I know he is in every big movie and I am supposed to just accept him as the “new Russel Crowe?” Hardly, Rusell Crowe has thrown more phones than this guy has made movies. He isn’t horrible, actually I think he is pretty good but it is similar to Kimbo Slice, just because you say he is the best fighter in the world, doesn’t mean he is. Terminator 4 was an abomination, wasn’t his fault but not exactly a great “And introducing” moment. Then the guy lucks out and is placed in the # 1 box office champion of all time, Avatar. Great film, he was great in it, really won’t say much on this one. But again, Cameron, the effects and Michelle Rodriguez finally smiling made this movie a hit, not Worthington. “I am not smiling on this shit site, I get paid the big bucks for that. Buy the special edition Avatar in December and you will see me giggle.”

Now look, I am not going to just pick on Worthington. Shia Laboots and Chatting Chat Chat, Channing Tatum, whatever, same thing. Dudes can act but they are being forced down our throats. I think this is one of the problems with the studio system. They don’t trust their products and also don’t realize that the day of the movie start (with a few excpetions) is done.

We need story. What movie star do you know that can sell movies on opening day weekend still, by himself? Will Smith? Who else? Tom Cruise, my prime example of the movie star is even havign problems. Knight and Day was so bad, people looked up from the screen half way through it and said “Shit I should be swimming.”

My point is, give us good stories, we beg of you and cast actors who fit the role. Paying Nicole Kidman 16mil to be in a Body Snatchers remake because of her name is irresponsible and dopey. I promise give us a good story, cut a good trailer and we are in.

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